Everything Beautiful
by icanreadyouraura
Summary: It terrifies me, the idea of death. The Final.'
1. One The Begining

**Title: Everything Beautiful.**

**Rating: overall M maybe NC17 **

**Warnings: Overall; strong language, character death, yaoi here and there.**

**Pairing: Kyo x Die**

**Fandom: Dir En Grey.**

**W.I.P**

**As always, reviews are LOVED x)**

**One**

Kaoru was first.

It pains me to say it so harshly, so bluntly. As his death was neither harsh nor blunt, except for the reality.

But I fear this documentation will be nonsense if there is not a fully explained reason of why Kyo and I were lying side by side at the centre of the apocalypse.

Or so it felt.

So, as I say, Kaoru was first. First to be taken by the Dark. He was cold and he was beautiful that night. He showed no pain. He wouldn't surrender.

Every dip and curve of his flawless face was white, sheeted in an icy sweat. And his eyes, his stunning eyes were black. His pupils so dilated they'd taken over the irises.

That's how the Dark got it's name. Your nails turn purple, your insides slow because your heart is blackening around the edges. You start to loose your sight, due to a white light in front of your eyes, getting stronger each day. Expanding your pupils, in the bad cases they can take over the whites.

Both Kyo and I could see it, getting slowly brighter. If only we had the dignity to say so. Speaking of dignity; Kaoru's last words are still fresh in my mind.

"Guys, if this shit gets you too, fight it until your last fucking breath? You can't give up, okay?"

If only we were as strong.

It terrifies me; the idea of death. The Final. I can see Kyo fears it too, which unnerves me.

"Everything beautiful collapses."

That's what he told me. At the time it was melodrama. But Kaoru proved it.

And as we lie here now, in a meadow of dead flowers, I can see the truth.

I see it through the blindness as everything beautiful collapses around us.


	2. Virus

"Toshiya?" Mumbles outside our door. We ignore them. Until the door opens.

Kyo sticks his head up.

"Fuck off."

Kaoru looks hurt. "Is Toshiya here?"

"Does it look like it?"

"…have you seen him?"

Kyo smirks. "The only thing I've seen for 40 minutes is-"

"Alright, alright!" The door closes. I laugh.

"You're a cruel man," I say, leaning in to kiss Kyo, biting his bottom lip. He smiles.

"Are you complaining?"

"mm, no…"

The door opens.

"**What**?!" I yell.

"_40_ minutes?" Kaoru raises an eyebrow.

"And…?"

"Seriously? 40 minutes? You guys are good…"

"Kaoru, way to kill happy hour."

"Isn't happy hour when alcohol goes down in price?"

"This is fucking America, it can be whatever we want." Impatiently, Ky attacks my lips, ignoring the figure in the doorway.

"Your version of happy hour is screwing?" Our mouths are busy, so I stick out my arm; thumbs up.

"Okay then… hey have either of you guys seen Toshiya?"

"**No**!"

Later, Shinya stumbles into our trashed hotel room, clearly wasted.

"Where have you been?" I ask, idly strumming out a pointless tune on Kyo's old acoustic.

"Can't remember," Shinya admits. I smirk.

"How drunk are you?"

"Can't remember."

"Do you know how fucking hard it is to play with your head in my lap?"

Shinya looks confused. "The hell are you on about?"

"Not you," I say. The figure sprawled across the tacky leather couch has taken to resting on my thighs.

"It's comfortable," Kyo replies, closing his eyes. I sigh, putting down the guitar and picking up a cigarette instead. Blissful silence. Excluding the buzz of a phone.

"Hey," Kaoru says slowly, reading from the small screen. "Toshiya says 'turn the news on'. Kyo picks up a remote without opening his eyes.

"What channel?"

"Doesn't say."

"Guys…" Kyo's eyes are open and he's staring at the TV. Every channel is the same.

"_Bio-terrorists in Canada have been making serious threats to release a highly contagious and deadly virus; attempting genocide."_

"What's she saying?" I ask, leaning forwards. Kaoru translates and I snort. "Bullshit."

"Shh," Shinya warns, suddenly awake.

"_Precautions have been taken, yet it is unclear whether the virus has or has not been released yet. Police are trying to find the culprits, however U.S.A and Canadian national services have prohibited anyone to leave or enter the country…"_

Kaoru stops abruptly. We all stare.

"What? What did she say?"

"…We can't leave America. We're stuck here."


	3. Trapped

**Three**

"We… what?" a mixture of confusion and anger hits me. Kyo sits up. Shinya stands up, but due to his state of drunkenness, falls again.

"Shit," Kaoru whispers. Kyo stands up angrily, kicking an empty pack of fags.

"Fuck this!" He yells, picking up his jacket and storming from the room. Shinya hides his head in his hands, blocking out the sound of Kaoru and I shouting.

Suddenly Toshiya bursts in.

"Did you see it?"

"Yes."

"…well what-"

"What _what_, Toshiya!" Kaoru tugs at his hair in frustration. "We're stuck here!"

"I know… Die, do you know where Kyo went? He ran past me on the stairs muttering about "apocalyptic bullshit" or something." I shrug.

"No idea."

________________

I hear the door softly click at about half one.

"Ky'?" I whisper.

"Mm." Kyo enters the bedroom, looking exhausted. I watch silently as he peels off his shirt and jeans, tugging on a pair of old trackies for pyjama bottoms.

"Are you okay?"

"The airport's mad. I went to see if I could get us tickets. Thousands of people there. All flights cancelled."

He clambers into bed immediately closing his eyes. I kiss his jawbone gently, feeling his skin shift under my lips as he smiles. I sigh heavily, placing my head on Kyo's chest. Soon, we're both asleep.

_________

This is where we worry.

9:00am eating breakfast in the tacky hotel canteen. Yesterday we played our last tour gig. We're meant to be home by now. The small radio on the buffet counter blurts out some English drabble. We all look at Kaoru.

"12 deaths in Canada…" he says listening carefully. "4 on the border, 16 people dead today. Police are "unable" to say cause."

"You reckon it's the virus?" Kyo asks biting into an apple.

"Don't pretend you don't think so too."

Awkward silence.

"America's boring," Shinya moans. We all nod gloomily.

____

Seattle's scary at this time of year. English tourists and Asian tourists flood the streets. Busy Americans doing Christmas shopping. I perch on the edge of the hotel steps, taking in the fumes of petrol and talking and my withering cigarette, which I chuck blindly into the road. I stand up, walking back inside.

______

I cant find them in the canteen. I take the elevator to floor seven. I stare at the flashing numbers.

1

2

3

4

This elevator's fucking slow.

5

6

I yawn.

7


	4. Infected

"So thanks for waiting," I say as I walk into the familiar room. Kyo looks up from a Japanese newspaper.

"Sorry. Kaoru felt dizzy and it was really loud down there. Plus, we didn't know how long you'd be."

"Not that long, evidently" I look around for the others. Unless they're hiding under the various piles of clothes and rubbish, I can't see them.

"Gone to get decent food," Kyo says, reading my thoughts.

"It takes two people to open a fridge?"

"Dunno. I swear Toshiya and Shinya have something going on though." I smile, slumping down between Kyo and Kaoru.

"Die, do you ever wander where you'd be if we weren't together?" Ky asks randomly. "Like, all of us."

I raise an eyebrow. "Since when did you ask sentimental questions?"

"Answer it."

"Okay," I roll my eyes and sigh lazily. "I would have ended up being a lollypop-…man." Kyo smirks. He flicks a page.

"They're calling it 'The Dark'," he says, reading from an article printed in red. "Your eyes go weird and your organs slow down."

"Nice," I mutter, frowning.

"Mm. And you start chucking up everywhere and your nails go purple at the cuticles. There's a great list of symptoms here."

I glance at Kaoru. His eyes are closed and his hands are on his ears.

"Kaoru, you're really pale," I observe, touching his forehead. "And _freezing_."

Toshiya and Shinya return from the suite kitchen, armfuls of fruit and crisps and orange juice cartons. "Food?"

Suddenly Kaoru's eyes are open. He stands up, running to the bathroom.

The rest of us look at each other anxiously, trying not to listen to our band-mate being sick.

Kyo opens the door gently as the retching noises die down.

"Mate?" he walks over to Kaoru, placing an arm around his narrow shoulders. "D'ya think you've eaten something awful? This hotel food's pretty foul." Kaoru shrugs silently. He's shaking slightly, clinging onto the sink for support. Shinya nudges me, jerking his eyes towards Kaoru's hands.

I look closely and my heart falls out of my chest. For the edges of Kaoru's slender fingers look bruised around his nails.

Purple at the cuticles.


	5. Rain

I look closely and my heart falls out of my chest. For the edges of Kaoru's fingers look bruised around his nails.

Purple at the cuticles.

Shinya looks at me, his eyes wide.

"The Dark…" he whispers, swallowing hard. Kyo turns.

"Eh?"

"Kaoru… look at your hands," Shinya says slowly, unable to draw his eyes away. Kaoru raises his hands to eye-level, shaking. Silence.

Kyo sees what we see and his face becomes a mask of horror.

"No way…"

Kaoru's still silent. Staring.

"Kao?" Toshiya asks nervously.

Not one to use a cliché, but you could cut the tension with a knife. Instead, it's Kaoru's anguished cry slicing the air. He runs from the room, leaving us staring. We're all speechless. Excluding Kyo, who whispers "Jesus…" under his breath.

"What are we going to do?"

"What is there to do?"

"…just… stand by him." I wander from the room, spying Kaoru on the balcony through the hotel's tacky glass doors. I walk towards him.

"Kaoru?" He's staring at the grey sky, tears and rain falling down his face.

"Am-" his voice cracks. "Am I going… to die?"

"Kao, I-" he cuts me off with a hard stare. "…yes," I croak. Kaoru nods slowly. He bites his lip. So hard it begins to bleed. I can't bare to stand here staring, so I wrap my arms around his small, cold body. Kaoru holds onto me until it hurts, crying silently onto my shoulder. Before we know it, the other have joined, creating one big, sad hug. I have tears in my eyes. So do Toshiya and Shinya. Even Kyo is blinking too fast to be convincing.

I can feel Kaoru's warm tears on my neck as he cries and cries and cries.


	6. Blood

We organised one last gig. To put it harshly; we don't know how long Kaoru's got left. It was fucking hard, getting this thing together. For a start everyone's too busy worry about this fucking disease to go see a gig. Secondly, Kaoru's got really ill. It comes down to where he had good days and bad days- obviously we didn't want to hit one of the latter. So we had to carefully schedule it after a few weeks of working out a good-day, bad-day pattern. Thirdly, well everything else. Getting together tickets and venues is usually a walk in the park for us. We had our manager for that. But apparently he wants to spend time with his sick son "in times like this". Bastard. So we had to do everything ourselves.

It was a kick-ass show.

Far more people turned up than expected. We played like we'll never play again. Well… we probably wont.

At the end, Kaoru took to the mic. He lapped up the screaming and cheering with a genuine smile on his face. It's ironic; it was the happiest I've ever seen him.

"Uh, hello America!" he called. His English was comical, but they all cheered him on. "We are really sorry for this. Me mostly. But, uh, this might be our last gig."

His grin turned to laughter as all our fans moaned. "We're sorry!" he smiled. "But with this shit going around, we don't think we'll have time to play."

But as Kyo moved over to take the mic back, Kaoru did something unexpected. We weren't meant to release the fact he had it. But Kaoru wasn't scared. I think we all saw that.

"I want to say thank you, to Kyo and Toshiya and Die and Shinya. I don't know how long I've got, but you guys have made it totally worth it," he turned back to the audience. "And all you guys! Thank you."

Like I said, it was kick-ass show.

____

Today's one of Kaoru's bad days.

Kyo watches silently in the bathroom doorway, observing Shinya rub Kaoru's back and hold back his hair as he vomits blood, his body shaking.

I wince at the sound, trying to concentrate at the TV.

"Kyo, you don't want to see that," I say, leaning off the couch and tugging at his sleeve. Kyo nods, drawing his eyes away.

"You might want to turn that off," he says, pointing to the small screen. "I don't think _Kaoru_ wants to see_ that_."

"19 deaths in Texas, bringing this week's total to 1,243."

I nod, changing channel.

"This shit's really taking over," Toshiya states from behind a paper. I scrunch up my eyes as more retching sounds drift from the bathroom. 2 months, 2 weeks since our friend got this. None of us want to voice it but we know it's not going to be 3 months.

"PS has dropped all it's bands," Toshiya says, reading closely.

"Oh?"

"Mm. After Kai."

Kyo sits up straight. "Kai? As in, GazettE Kai?"

"Yeah."

We all have a close relationship with the GazettE; especially Kyo.

"What's happened?"

Toshiya looks nervous. "You didn't know? He had it, Kyo. He's gone."

"…fuck," Kyo says in a very small voice. "Fuck it guys, Kaoru's got that shit!"

"Sshh, I don't think he wants reminding."

Kyo runs a hand through his hair stressfully. I kiss him gently.

"We'll be fine, we'll get through this. I swear."

"Can you swear Kaoru will? Go on, I dare you."

"Kyo, I can't-"

"We won't be fine. We won't."

I look up as if hoping the ceiling has some advice. It doesn't.

__________________

9:23 am, 16th December 2014.

I wake groggily, a huge weight on my chest. At first I think it's a symptom of a hang-over, until I see Kyo sprawled across me.

I hear the small click of the bathroom door. I push Kyo off ungently, sitting up and looking around.

Kaoru's up, tiptoeing around the trashed hotel room in his jeans. I can see his ribs casting shadows on his white skin.

"Kao, what're you doing?" I hiss as he pulls on a pair of boots and a plain black top.

"Fresh air," he answers bluntly. I nod slowly, watching as the door shuts behind him. I stand up, massaging my head. Geez. I've slept in my jeans but I've no idea where my shoes or top is. Blindly, I stumble to the door, treading on Kyo as I go.

"Ngrh," his muffled voice almost makes me laugh. "Why the fuck am I on the floor? Hey, Die, where you going?" I don't answer; just keep on towards the door.

I spy my boots and tug them on, nicking one of Kyo's old tour hoodies. The zip's broken so I have no choice but to hug my chest as I walk out into the cold December air.

_When I saw Kaoru's blood seep into the ice around him, reality was sucked from the air._

_It wasn't happening; this wasn't what we'd asked for. Obviously we knew fame was bad news. With fame came risks. Danger, publicity, suicide notes. But we'd never have seen this coming. _

"_Genocidal virus my ass," Kyo would've said. "Like it would dare touch us."_

_But for some reason, those words were never formed. And it did dare. The Dark dared to touch us and now it's tackled us to this blood-stained ground._

_We were blind. So blind. And now that's all I can think of. _

_Kyo's hand is cold in mine. Mine cold in his. _

Everything beautiful collapses. Everything beautiful collapses now.

"_I'm scared."_

"_I know."_

"_How?" _

"_Because I am too."_

It's cold out. Really cold. Goosebumps erupt on my skin and I shudder. The ground is icy and the sky is grey. A yellow cab swerves past me. It looks like it's been hijacked because I'm not sure cab drivers are supposed to drive like that. I'm not sure they're meant to have small flames curling from the bonnets of their cars either.

The sounds of Seattle at half nine in the morning are strangely relaxing. The sounds of birds, a far away siren, cars, early morning talk.

I sit on the edge of concrete steps, staring at nothing in particular. I don't know where Kaoru's gone. I presume he's gone for a walk. I turn to face the hotel. It's hard to believe it's five star. The words **The Chief** are written in peeling grey paint above the cracking grey door. I wander what it's name means.

'The Chief Of Revolting Hotels'?

'The Chief Of Hotels That Sell Vodka For A Fantastically Low Price'?

'The Chief Has Bad Chefs'?

I sigh, scanning the streets for Kaoru. For someone who's terminally ill he can walk for a long time.

A scarily long time.

I decide to go looking for him myself. My ass is freezing and my bare torso has turned from white to blue.

_____________

My breath dances in front of my face, sparkling visibly until it fades. I pass a shop selling Asian music and my heart aches for Japan. We've been in sodding Seattle for way longer than originally planned. We'd explore other parts of America if Kaoru weren't so ill. Where the fuck is he anyway?

The sounds of Seattle have mutated in to an ugly rhythm now. The birds replaced by lorries, the early morning chatter replaced by shouting. The sirens haven't changed. Maybe they've got louder…

But as I think this, they stop. I turn a corner in the street, looking at my shoes. I'm walking on ice now; a large stretch of side-walk frozen over. I come out of my trance as I kick something.

The world coming in to focus, I see it's a syringe case.

"Can you step back a little, please sir. We don't want infection to spread." I look up into the face of someone in uniform. I don't know what he said. He turns and I see large letters written in neon print on his back. P A R A M E D I C.

My eyes drift past him and my breath catches in my throat. Kaoru's on the ground. Kaoru's on the ground, blood dripping from his mouth onto the ice, creating crimson patterns around him. Like grotesque swirling flowers. Several of the people in uniform surround him, trying to get him to lie down. He can't though, jolting forwards and vomiting terrifying amounts of pure blood. My mind clicks.

"Kao!" I yell, trying to push past one of the officials.

"I'm sorry, sir, but this is a contaminated area!" I don't know what he's saying.

"You've got to let me through; he's my friend," Japanese rolls off my tongue so fast if I were speaking in English he wouldn't understand me. "We're in the same band, I know he's got it, we've been living in the same hotel room for fucking months now, _you've got to get me through_!"

Kaoru's seen me by now.

"Die!" he chokes.

"Ha!" I spit at the smarmy official as he reluctantly let's me through. I kneel down beside Kaoru and he clings onto my arms. His grip is weak and his breathing is shallow.

"Kao, what happened?" I ask, removing Kyo's hoodie and wrapping it around him. Kaoru just shakes his head, scrunching his eyes up as a few tears leak out. Quickly, he twists away from me, coughing violently. I wince at his expression; his lips are chewed and tears have mingled with blood to create horrible contrasting streaks down his deathly pale face. He coughs again, digging his nails in to my arms.

"Make it stop!" he chokes. It looks as though he's being burned from the inside. "It hurts… make it stop…"

I pull my friend closer, trying unsuccessfully to keep him warm.

"I can't…" I whisper sadly. "I don't know how…"


End file.
